So I’m sick. This may sound counterintuitive, but being sick actually makes me feel really, really alive. Not in the way which falling in love does or riding too fast on a motorcycle, but in the way in which I feel very fully embodied, like THE BODY IS IN CHARGE.

I’m having sensations I don’t understand. Like how am I both freezing and sweating profusely at the same time? Or these chapped lips, what?! This is a luxury that those of us that live in generally healthy bodies have. Which is to not pay attention to the body until it has a need. Like sit down, or drink some water, or there’s pain. And while the sensations I’m having are generally not pleasant, nobody ever promised me that being alive would always be pleasant. To those of your who live with chronic illness, you are my actual heroes and I proclaim it even when I am healthy. Thank you so much for giving me a minute of your life to think about the end of it.

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