It’s almost the holidays and without sounding like a complete Grinch, I really struggle with this idea of forced merriment around this time of year. I am aware that there are so many people who are grieving, a bunch of people that are experiencing their very first holiday without somebody they love, AND a whole slew of other people that know that this is going to be the last holiday that they spend with somebody that they love. There is so much meaning heaped upon the holidays which can create a sense of impending dread. The sense of loss is massive during this time and I can’t help but feel it all.

Maybe these are big empath problems, but I struggle to get over it. Yes there are a myriad of ways to address the loss over the holidays. If you choose, it can be helpful to address the loss, inviting conversation about the absence. At a significant meal, you could keep an empty place setting, or keep a picture of your beloved on the table. You could create new rituals honoring the loss and try to find meaning where you can find it. But since it’s my job as a Death Doula to meet you where you are, I want to acknowledge that you don’t have to have a happy holiday.

Just have a holiday.

Thank you for giving me a minute of your life to think about the end of it!

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